I'm used to them being mean and conveniently "forgetful". I know what to do when they try to groom, manipulate, browbeat, guilt, and threaten me into the role of the ideal scapegoat. But I don't know what to do when they act (key word "act") reasonable.
Mom shed her convenient forgetfulness and decided she owes me $10,000 for the money I've shelled out in the last 15 years on her behalf, directly or indirectly. This is the same dollar amount she threatened me back in May, saying stuff like taking me to court and that it would cost ME $10,000 to fight her. I knew her taking-me-to-court threats were just bluffs so I didn't take her seriously. So after her grooming, manipulating, browbeating, guilting, and threatening failed, she's moved on to sounding nice and reasonable. It's not the first time, nor the last, and it won't last long before she's right back to step one, grooming.
Next week when I go to check on CeCee, Mom plans to present me with a check for $10,000. Half of me wants to say "no" and turn her down. Part of me is thinking how much that money would help even though I'm in no need of the money. I have 3 days to think if I'm going to accept or decline.
I listened to a podcast about Narcissistic mother "She effectively portrayed herself as always rendered exhausted by providing for her children. Friends, family, and neighbors are prompted to feel sympathy for her as apparent victim of selfless devotion to the undisciplined child. In reality she is who is emotional undisciplined in her insatiable thirst for attention and adulation from her children."
Once when I asked her what does she want from people, she immediately said, "Their sympathy". I was designated her scapegoat, the designated "stupid child" no matter how hard she tried to help me (so she tells everybody), grooming me to be her garbage can to dump all her own flaws into. I don't know how but I knew as a kid that all the things she accused me of she was actually talking about herself. It's not that I knew-knew on an intellectual level, but it was more of a sense, an instinctual feeling. I knew enough that she didn't know me enough to be right in her accusations of me.
I still don't know if I'm should accept her check.